Big Changes

Before you read, I have to warn you that this blog post will be digging deep into something I’m struggling with at the moment. I just felt like I had to share this part of my life with you guys and since I haven’t blogged in a while this blog post would offer some insight into why.

Recently, I have to admit I haven’t been happy. I’ve been drowning in my thoughts and my mind has been spinning out of control making it very difficult for me to focus or stay motivated. Hence, the reason why I decided to take a step back from blogging & updating my corresponding blog social media accounts.

I recently found out that I can graduate soon, however, the thought of what’s next is making me even more anxious. I feel so unprepared & just defeated. I honestly thought I had another year, but since I decided to take classes year round without taking a break; I get to graduate early.  I’m not ready. Is this normal? Has anyone ever struggled with these emotions when you’re on the cusp of a big change in your life. I guess my biggest struggle is fear. I’m afraid that once I’m finished with school I’m not going to get a job & I’ll be stuck in this never-ending rut I’m in. I find myself up late at night questioning my decisions. Like do I have enough experience? Is my resume good? Did I take the right internships? I swear this is the first time in my life where I’m truly uncertain. I vividly remember nights where I would stay up and imagine how my life would be once I graduate and honey this is not it. I feel so unprepared and I feel like I have no real help or guidance. I’ve been praying but right now my relationship with God has taken a real hit. I really want to move out to Los Angeles, but my experience this past year has really scared me and I’m constantly doubting whether or not I can do it. I feel like I just need to take a breather. I know in my heart that everything will work out as long as I fight the good fight and put in 100% of the effort but guys fear is crippling. If you have struggled with big changes what advice do you have for me? I am open to all suggestions. Thank you.